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Some of these charlatans are targeting youthe slot machine player. In fact, last night, I came across a website with this enticement: Discover how to make a minimum of 1,000 on the slot machinesevery night! Make the casino your personal money machine!
After all, when it comes to jackpots, were still talking about very long odds. And no casinoor casino employeeknows when those jackpots are going to hit. The websites sales pitch went on ad nauseum, inviting me to visualize myself as a big-time Slot Machine High Roller: Picture yourself staying in a VIP suite, dining at the finest restaurants.
Results are as random as humans can program a computer tips to be, and theres no way to time random results, no signal the machine gives that its ready to pay off, no way to look at a machine and tell whats coming.
(Actually, these infomercials never showed you anything, except for joyous testimonials. To learn the secrets, you had the order the kit/attend the seminar/hand over your credit card information.) And who could forget the boyish-looking Don Lapree, who preached the gospel of classified ads and 900 numbersand how you could start building your own financial empire today.
Now hes bringing the casino staff into it. At this point, I knew the bullet points were basically just running down the most popular slot machine myths. One of the silliest is that slot attendants are somehow privy to inside information about which machines are due to hit.
I could never understand what it was exactly, or how it would enable me to generate an extra 20,000 a month in my spare time. But it was being hawked by the Rice brothersmidget twins in suits who billed themselves as the Countrys Most Recognized Success Experts Listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the Worlds.
He told me: Ive seen systems that have you looking for cherries sitting on the center reel, systems that alternate maximum and minimum bets, even systems that vary bet size according to Fibonoacci numbers (a mathematical progression in which each number is the sum of the two preceding numbers.) None of them are worth the paper theyre printed.
Nowadays, when plagued with insomnia, I surf the Internet instead of channels. Cyberspace has really opened the floodgates for a new generation of snake oil salesmen. And theyre not just flogging sexual performance pills, bogus stock tips and motivational tapes.


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